


I Just Might Fall Apart First (Swan Queen)

by mikeyislame



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, I'm not sorry, MCD, Major character death - Freeform, One Shot, liz is a pussy, lots of sadness, tw heroin abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-01
Updated: 2017-07-01
Packaged: 2018-11-21 18:23:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11363055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikeyislame/pseuds/mikeyislame
Summary: songfic. poison oak by bright eyes.she was the yellow bird that she'd been waiting for.a oneshot, tw heroin abuse





	I Just Might Fall Apart First (Swan Queen)

**Author's Note:**

> first fic here, please don't judge i know my writing is p bad but bare with me 
> 
> also, some lyrics are changed to fit the story

[poison oak, some girlhood bravery  
when a tin can was a telephone on a string  
and i fell asleep with you still talking to me  
you said you weren't afraid to die]

Emma and Regina had been friends since they were children. Regina was the only person that stuck around longer than a few years.

[well i dont think i ever loved you more]

They had fallen in love at 16, Emma deciding to stick around and stay with Regina. They were happy. Emma had found her forever home. The only thing she wanted.

[than when you turned away,  
when you slammed the door]

"It's not my fault you don't feel loved Emma! I tell you I love you every day! I give you my unconditional love! I'm in love with you! Do you not get that?! Do you not feel loved?!" Regina spat, almost in tears. She turned away and held her head. "I don't feel loved because I know you don't love me! You say it but you never fucking mean it! I am so done with fake I love you's!" Emma screamed at her and stormed out, slamming the door harshly behind her.

[when you stole the car,  
drove towards mexico]

She was walking on the side walk when she saw a bright yellow bug. "It'll do." She thought and grabbed a coat hanger from her bag. Once she was inside, she went searching through the glove compartment for a spare key. She found one, shoved it in the ignition, and was on her way to Mexico. From behind her she heard a man groan. "You could've just asked me for the main key, ma'am. I'm Neal. Where're we headed?"

[and you wrote bad checks  
just to fill your arm  
you were young enough  
you still believed in war]

"Neal you gotta spare me some change. I need to buy more. I'll pay you back, I promise." And so he gave in.  
She took her belt and wrapped it around her bicep, inserting the needle and slowly injecting herself with her poison of choice, china white.  
She laid back and closed her eyes, letting it take her to a better place.

[well let the poets cry themselves to sleep  
and all their tearful words would turn back  
into steam]

"Emma, Emma wake up! Em come on please!" Neal shook her and slapped her face lightly, to no avail. He put his head to her heart and listened. Nothing. Tears pricked at his eyelids. He screamed again. "EMMA FUCKING SWAN! PLEASE! YOU GOTTA WAKE UP YOU-YOU-you gotta wake up!" His screaming turned into quiet whimpers and sobs. His best friend. gone. She had someone, someone who cared. "Oh God, what the fuck am I going to do? Oh God Emma you-what am I going to do? Regina she-she'll miss you like hell! I'll miss you like hell! Em, please just-please wake up!

[but me i'm a single cell,  
on a serpent's tongue  
there's a muddy field  
where a garden was]

News had gotten around the small town Emma had lived in, and with that, everyone was sending their condolences Regina's way. Regina had booked a flight to Mexico faster than she's ever booked anything before, and soon she was in Mexico heading for the hospital she was told Emma was at. "We're sorry Mrs. Mills, we did all we could. She died of a heroin overdose fourteen hours ago. we can give you the directions to the morgue she's in right now." And with that, Regina had fallen to the floor breaking out in tears. The only woman she had ever been in love with, gone. If only she hadn't been so hard on her, if only she'd convinced her to stay. She was so innocent. That argument had ruined her.

[and i'm glad you got away  
but i'm still stuck out here  
my clothes are soaking wet  
from your son's tears]

At her funeral, the whole town of storybrooke and neal attended. Regina gave a speech, as did Neal.

"Before she left for Mexico and it all happened, her and I got into an argument. She was feeling unloved. I don't blame her, I was very busy with work. I just-I just wanted to get things done so I could spend more time with her and our son. I-I miss her, so-so much. but I'm glad she's not in pain anymore. I just wish her last words to me weren't 'I am so done with fake I love you's'. I guess it's just—what I deserved." She wiped her eyes and sniffled, placing her hand on her tombstone. "If-If anyone would like to say anything, say it now or forever hold your peace." Neal raised his hand and stepped up.

"She was a really cool girl. All she ever talked about was wanting to go home and spend time with her family. She was scared though, God, you could see the terror in her eyes every time she said she wanted to go home and just hug her son and wife. She loved them so much, She'd hated what she did. She'll forever love her family, even after death. May she rest in peace."

[and i never thought that this life  
was possible  
you're the yellow bird that  
i've been waiting for]

Regina sat in bed holding a small polaroid of her and Emma. It had been three years. Henry was going to college soon. She was imagining driving to Henry's college to help him unpack with Emma, crying in her arms because their little boy was growing up. but she wasn't going to. She was picking her life up, supporting Henry in every way possible. It's what Emma would have wanted. She made Regina realized she should keep going, not mourn but be proud she was happy with Emma.

[the end of paralysis  
i was a statuette  
now i'm drunk as hell  
on a piano bench]

She was doing amazing. henry was two years into college, doing amazing. But things fell through. She was heavily intoxicated on the floor of her bathroom. Just enough to sleep away the night.

[and when i press the keys  
they all get reversed  
the sound of loneliness  
makes me happier]

With every sip of the bottle, she felt less and less. The sound of the nothingness she felt made her content. She knew Emma was gone and she knew she could do nothing but accept it permanently. She'd pick herself up and start again the next day, she'd be the only one who knew about that night.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you liked this, please give me some feedback and tell me how you enjoyed it!


End file.
